I opened my eyes and my vision was blurred. I was lying on my back, and I was moving at a quick rate. My eyes began to slowly focus. At first, I saw the blurred outline of the lights in the ceiling passing by. Then a women’s face came into view. I shook my head, and then realised that it was a nurse. She was young and slim with red lipstick. She said ‘Barry, you’re in Manchester General Hospital. You came in earlier today, and when you arrived, you were pronounced DOA, dead on arrival.’ I looked down at my chest, and saw that it was covered with bruises where the doctors had used the resuscitator.Three days before, I’d been nicked in town. I had spent the weekend in a police cells and was granted bail on Monday. The first thing I did was to score some heroin. I had £25.00 in my shirt pocket underneath my jumper. I knocked on Ratty’s door. He hadn’t been dealing long; he used to be a top shoplifter. He had a sharp-looking face and wore expensive clothes. He let me in and we headed into the bedroom. ‘How much do you want’? ‘One-quarter of a gram,’ I replied. ‘Sorry mate, I haven’t got that. I’ve only got an 8th, but I’m expecting some more to arrive soon.’ I said, ‘Okay give me that, and I’ll come back later for the rest.’ He got out the gear and told me that it was really pure and uncut. I took the gear, prepared it, and then injected it. The next thing I knew, I was being rushed down a corridor of MG Hospital. ‘Barry, when you came in, you were DOA. The paramedics found you in a phone box, dead,’ the nurse explained.
I wasn’t in the hospital for very long, as I signed myself out. I returned to Ratty’s to get my other 8th. I knocked on his door. He opened it. ‘Mate, have you got the other half of my gear?’ ‘You’ve got a cheek coming round here,’ he replied. ‘What do you mean’? I was confused. ‘When you came round, you didn’t have any money.’ ‘Of course I did.’ ‘No you didn’t. We searched you as we carried you down to the phone box.’ I said, ‘The money was here in my shirt pocket.’ I reached under my jumper and pulled it out. He didn’t believe me, so he wouldn’t give me the rest of my gear. I ended up going somewhere else to score.
Why, after going through all of this, did I go back to get more drugs? Because I didn’t put a price on myself. I thought more of the buzz than I did of my own value.
I know that some of you reading this have never taken drugs. That’s great. Taking drugs is not clever. Putting your life at risk is not smart. Doing so just demonstrates what a low price some people can place on their own lives. I do know, however, that even if they've never taken drugs, there are many people in all different kinds of situations who don’t value themselves.
Is that you? Do you put low price on yourself? Has something happened in your life that has caused you to undervalue yourself? Maybe you’re in the same situation that I was back in the day. Listen: whatever the reason is that you don’t value yourself, you need to know that God puts a high price on you! The Bible says that, 'YOU are HIS most treasured possession'. God values you! And he wants you to value yourself too! He doesn’t want you to go through life undervaluing yourself. He wants you to put a high price on you—just like he does!